A top notch joke entry by User: 188.8.131.52 on the Space accidents and incidents page.
The failed Nazi moonshot of 1944.Edit
The failed Nazi moonshot of 1944. Recently de-classified Russian document have reviled that Nazi Germany got a lot closer to a Moonshot than was previously thought. The rocket scientist Wernher von Braun had brought together a extremely specialised team of personnel and what meagre rocket resources Germany had on the northern Island of Rutgen off the coast of the former East Germany and construction work began in May 1943. Unfortunately, the SS used Jewish and Polish slave labour to build the highly secretive test pad. The mission was meant to a propaganda coup, but could also be called a de facto suicide job for the poor ‘Fuehrer-nought’ (or space-man) on board. Training was conducted in an experimental helicopter unit and a under water tank to mimic flying the L.E.M. (called Eva after Hitler’s mistress) and working in outer space respectively. Work was completed in May 1944 and a test firing was planed for October of that month. After a few minor delays caused by a largely unsuccessful RAF bombing raid on the complex.
The 3 Waffen-SS and 1 Allgemeine-SS ‘Fuehrer-noughts’ were-
Waffen-SS commander Oberstgruppenfuehrer Klause E.Kline, Waffen-SS helicopter pilot Gruppenfuehrer Wernher Bachman, Waffen-SS technician Oberschafuehrer Herman von Hanover and leading SS-Allgemeine racial theorist Brigadefuerer Kurt von Rhinehousen.
The extremely experimental rocket blew up on it’s test firing in early November, 1944 due to a fractured fuel line. The 4 space men and 60 ground crew died instantly, 50 more suffered horrific burns. Wernher von Braun only just survived his own server blast injuries as well. Hitler is reported to have go in to a rage and tried to shoot Wernher in a fit of peek shortly after. The 6 month long SS investigation was never fully completed due to the collapse of Nazi Germany and was taken to Stalinist Russia, along with the surviving space rocket for use as part of their planned Soviet Moonshot program in late 1947. It was also reported that a Waffen-SS guard called “Waffen-SS Mann Hans” drowned a Jewish slave labour called “Jacob A.” in a tub of highly caustic hydrogen peroxide fuel after Jacob A. had reputedly refused to buff Hans‘s boots with his hair.